Invisible City 1
Theme: Having faith is believing in something you cannot see
I know a city, the city of Revery. It is the “dreamed-of city” where “desires are already memories.” I visit this city because it resides in the deepest crevices of my mind, where memories are stored and visions of things I have yet to experience are conjured up. It is a place more real than any other area I have visited by placing one foot in front of the other upon its land of reality. Revery is a place I can see any time without having captured it as my own using camera lenses and memory cards. Some people tell me that they know this city of mine and have visited it for themselves, but I know that they could never know it as well myself, someone who has never been there in the flesh. My mind tells me of its beauties and wonders. I can smell the familiar, which are actually the unknown fragrances of my favorite flowers that grow in the fields by my favorite downtown promenade. I feel the warmth of family and friends as their love embraces me in a place I call home.
How can this place be my home if I have yet to step foot in it? It is real because I know this city within my memories. Did I visit it once upon a dream? I’m sure I did not. In a place that is dark to others who cannot or will not see, there is light that illuminates my cherished city. The utmost contentment derives from my city of Revery. My fire of desire burns brightly for me and me alone. However, your fire of contentment burns there too. One day you will fall in love with a place like that of the one I love. On that day you will not come to this place, but it will come to you. For arrival to the city of Revery is inevitable. Everyone finds it eventually and the darkness turns into an unimaginable light that comforts and guides you. It is here you will see the romantic and timeless bridges where I walk over the cooling waters of enjoyment. But when you get there the waters will not be water as you have imagined and desired it. They will be as they will be.
Invisible City 2
Theme: Where there is good, there is always bad
I once went to a city that I had been looking forward to visiting for quite some time. I can tell you what I went there to do, but I cannot remember when it was that I went and I will tell you why. The streets were lined with magnificent shops where the figures are courteous and even though I had just met these vessels, they each seemed like they were friends I had never remembered having before then. I guess this was because they were trying to pass on their most sensational objects of value, and in exchange I was to give them some small token of mine that was seen as valuable to everyone. I walked away from each store feeling more and more delighted with my new possessions. My native society had always taught me that I was suppose to obtain all the possessions I could, preferably the most expensive items I could get, and then I would be happy.
What happened next continues to perplex me even now. I saw up in the distance of the avenue of promised happiness, a cluster of purple, black, and green with rays of sunlight bouncing off it perimeters. As I continued to approach closer, I realized that this object was in fact another vessel like the ones who had helped me in the stores. But there was something different about this lumpy object that seemed to have placed itself on the pavement. I noticed that it wore a tattered purple cloth resembling something that was probably once a sweatshirt, and a pair of jeans that were so soiled that what I had seen as black was actually the color blue covered in the harshness of their city. Just as I was noticing its shredded blanket of green and grey, the vessel suddenly shot up from a lying down position. It looked startled that it had apparently neglected his task of holding out a dirty and worn paper cup.
Then something happened which has removed any sense of time during that visit to the city. Our eyes met and there was an exchange of “glances like lines that connect one figure with another and draw arrows, stars, triangles.” Instantly I felt connected to this person. I wondered why he was lying on the ground, whether he had a home in this city, and if he didn’t why he had not yet left for somewhere better. “Did an outside not exist?” Did he find happiness in this city as I had, or did he just endure its elements of cruelty that were so evident in their eyes? By being in this place, would I just become another vessel, which ignores someone and their happiness in order to maintain my own happiness? I could no longer remember who I was, where I was headed, or when I existing at the moment that I truly saw this fallen vessel. I do, however, remember that this city was called Bifold.
Invisible City 3
Theme: Illusionary reality and identity
I have been to a city, called Bloom, where an area is inhabited solely by people of the same age. All these people are bright, glowy, eager, naïve, and knowledgeable, innovative, yet traditional. These people all conform to a predestined agenda of growing in their knowledge, but this usually makes them cling even more tightly to what they already know. When they are done with their day of expanding their minds, they expand their movement and flock to the youthful dancing of the midnight sanctuary.
Dancing with such vigor and grace, they get to believe that they are free from predestination and responsibility; however, this ideal can only be upheld temporarily through the cool, crisp dawn. As the moon settles in for bed and dusk approaches the city ambitiously, everyone re-establishes their mask, which they had removed for the night’s liberating festivities and are compelled to wear during the day. Why do these people wear the masks? No one can remember why, but rarely does anyone sincerely challenge the obligatory adornment of his or her mask.
All day they try to shine through their masks, while at the same time using their mask as a shield from the city and its inhabitants. For they know that they must either “erase the city or be erased by it.” Maybe they wear their mask so that the city does not wear down their true identity lurking behind this inanimate façade; or maybe the city has already won in erasing their identities by forcing them to wear a mask, causing the citizens to assume a foreign self. Are these people bright and eager because they wear the mask or are they that way no matter what they wear? The mask allows their youthfulness to sear through, but it denies the sincere relations they truly desire. They wish to be enlightened of one another’s identity during the daytime and not the darkness of the night, but they also wonder how things would be changed and/or worsened without the presence of their masks in Bloom.
Invisible City 4
No Theme
My favorite city in the world is called Home. It is there that I will find everything that I need. I seek my dearest Home when I am in need of the enrapturing company of my family. My family alone provides me with a necessary love and comfort, which every person longs for. They can also vex me to the utmost, but I find that no other city’s people are able to vex me more and still remain infinitely redeemable. Member of my family are the only people that I have met who can irritate and madden me the most, but be able to negate that entirely with our unique and unmatched bond. You may wonder who these people are that I call family and if they exist in any other city than that which I call Home. The answer is that they do not reside anywhere else except Home. For it is where my family is that Home exists, and where Home is that my family does as well.
I have known these people called family for as long as I have lived. I first visited Home during my first day of my life. Truly, throughout my lifetime I have been to many other cities outside of Home, but no matter where I go my cherished Home is always there for my return. Home is a city that can move just as readily as I move from city, but I never have a hard time finding my way back to this city. There is an invisible essence that makes it so I will never lose my way. I am endlessly connected to my given and chosen people, called family. I will go where they go and they will go where I go. Wherever I am, Home is there. Wherever they are, Home is there.
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3 comments:
Revery
I like the fact that this city is all in the narrator's mind. It is pretty abstract, but it captures Calvino's style well while also being unique. I think this works well, as it allows the reader to "enter" into the narrator's mind. There were a couple places, however, that I stumbled over when reading the description. For example, you wrote, "Revery is a place I can see any time without having captured it as my own using camera lenses and memory cards." I like what you are trying to do here, but the structure of the sentence is a little rough around the edges. I think the diction in your sentences can be tightened up a little more, so that the story reads smoother.
Bifold
I like the fact that in this city description, you turn the characters into objects. For example, "I realized that this object was in fact another vessel like the ones who had helped me in the stores." It gives a sense of disconnection that is common in Calvino's cities. However, I don't really like the choice to call people "vessels." Perhaps a different word would be better. Also, at one point you switch from calling the object you mentioned before from an "it" to a "he," which was a little confusing to follow. Also, perhaps the name of the city should be at the beginning?
Bloom
I like the use of masks in this city description. Again, it gives a sense of disconnection and a sense that the city has more control over the people than the people have over themselves. There were a few things that could be improved, such as trying to stay away from colloquialism, like "or are they that way no matter what?" The phrase "no matter what" seems a little out of place here and too informal. Also, some of the descriptions seemed a little choppy, like you were focusing on using interesting diction more than focusing on the flow of your writing. An example of this would be, "As the moon settles in for bed and dusk approaches ambitiously, everyone re-establishes their mask that they removed for the night’s liberating festivities and are compelled to wear during the day." the "dusk approaches ambitiously" and the word "re-establish" seems a little out of place here.
Home
I like the way you use repetition in this story. Some examples of this would be, “For it is where my family is that Home exists, and where Home exists my family” and “Wherever I am, Home is there. Wherever they are, Home is there.” My main issue here is that you repeat the name of the city a lot, and since it is an actual word that we can identity with, it starts to sound a little too repetitive. It might have been better to either use the name of the city less or change the name of the city.
Thanks for your feed back, Katie! I thought I would respond to some of your comments.
Revery-
I used the objects of "camera lenses and memory cards" in order to echo a specific style of Calvino's. He would include modern innovations in the construction of a city that would otherwise be interpreted as ancient. I liked this type of contrast that upsets the linear position of the city in a specific time period. The sentence you had issues would have probably flowed better if it had been turned into two sentences.
Bifold-
I chose to describe the people of the city as "vessels" because I was thinking about how most people are vessels or puppets that are used by large corporations driven to sell consumers excessive amounts of stuff they don't need.
I like that you picked on the fact that I used the words "it" and "he" when talking about the homeless character. I did this to contrast the retail employees I describe with the homeless person as to show that this character doesn't adhere to the social system in place, thus depriving him of a title similar to his fellow citizens. Then I do switch from calling that person "it" to "he" (good job on picking that up) to illustrate that the narrator's true connection to that person takes place and the narrator can see him for who he is; unlike the people in the city who would objectify all homeless people.
Revery – I liked the idea of a city that only exists within the memory; that you’ve never actually been to. The fact that each person has their own special version tied in well, making the piece seem nostalgic yet hopeful. I particularly liked this section: “My fire of desire burns brightly for me and me alone. However, your fire of contentment burns there too. One day you will fall in love with one like the place that I love.” The ending message was sweet; there is hope for everyone, that everyone will find such a place.
I felt like there could have been more descriptive imagery about the city itself. The story seemed to focus more on the thoughts and emotions of the storyteller, which is fine, but I’m not sure if that quite fit the goal of the assignment.
Bifold – My favorite phrase: “I saw up in the distance of the avenue of promised happiness, a cluster of purple, black, and green with rays a sunlight bouncing off it perimeters.” I think this works particularly well to start the contrast; it seems like it could be yet another wondrous thing, but it ends up being a lonely beggar. Was this a bit of a social commentary? It seemed like a bit of a critique on the materialistic attitude of most societies.
Again, the focus was on the traveler, not the city. I think it worked for the story, but I’m not sure about for the assignment. I was a little confused about the repeated use of vessels; they were describing humans, right? Was this a way to show people as empty?
Bloom – I liked the imagery in the first paragraph, especially “youthful dancing of the midnight sanctuary.” I thought the ambiguity of the masks and the ambiguity of the questions posed in the story worked well together. It seems like a toss up, the masks are good, in a way, but they deny other things.
Watch for typos! =) The last paragraph was a little too analytical for me, especially considering the vivid descriptions you had in the first two. It would be fun to see more of the city described, leaving the questions to be posed by the reader.
Home – Got your ruby slippers? I liked this one, but it made me a little homesick. I thought the repetition of “home” was a good choice. It indirectly forces the reader to think about their home, but it wasn’t repeated enough to make it overwhelming.
The focus here is on the people in the city, which I understand, but it would have been nice to see you describe the city, is there anything special that the people add to the city itself? I was a little confused by “enrapturing company.” I really like it as a phrase, but it doesn’t necessarily seem like a good thing, more of a trap than a welcome escape.
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